It’s been a while…

Like a whole week! Which is a long time for me NOT to blog.

 

Life has continued at it’s ever quickening pace. There is never enough time in a day to get everything done that needs to be done. I’ve tried prioritizing, tried to-do lists, they help… but with all the kids (and the husband working 15 hour shifts) something always come up to interrupt my perfectly scheduled day! :)

 

Jeddy it now learning short vowel blends in school. We get through “ma, me, mi, mo, mu” and he sighs, “Can I go play with Ella now?” As she hops back and forth across the couch, building “houses” and “cars” with all the pillows and blankets. This past week, she was his “pet tiger.” He shouts, “Tiger!” and she comes crawling into the room… “Rawr! I. Will. Eat you!” Apparently it works at dinner time too, “Ella, tigers eat all their carrots!” While she willingly eats the veggies she greatly dislikes. Not sure about the whole tigers eating carrots thing… but hey, it works!

“Rawr’ing” like a tiger…

 

She has quite the attitude lately. Yesterday while we were driving, she wasn’t pleased with something Eve did. So she says, “Eve, I mad at you! I so mad!” But not 5 seconds later she quickly recants with, “I not mad. I not mad with you.” She has now called her big brothers “meaners” and “dummyheads”…

Gee, I wonder where she gets that from, boys!?

My wonderful little Jeddy, brought me a bottle cap opener the other day and asked me what it was. I explained that we used it to open bottles like “Dad’s Rootbeer.” Not thinking anything of it, I went back to what I was doing and he went on his way. He came back about 10 minutes later with the bottle cap opener in hand and said, (with a very excited look) “Mom! Mom! This thing opens bottles AND writes on walls!”

Umm… pardon me? Writes on walls?

Apparently it does.

I learn something new everyday!

Charity helped me make dinner tonight. She has mastered the art of making rice and biscuits now. The rice was Keona’s job, until one time when we ran out of butter and she decided to substitute the 2nd tablespoon of butter for an extra tablespoon of salt… So she may not be a chef. Tonight, we typed out and printed her very first novel! She wrote a five chapter book! I actually quite enjoyed reading it, and  am looking forward to the sequel she already has planned.

 

I got my new business cards in the mail- which I am quite excited about!

Now I can carry my portfolio around with me!

 

And even these “mini cards” which I think are super cute!

 

 

Everything is from Moo.

 

Well, now I am off to crochet hats and enjoy a few hours of quiet time. Maybe? Hopefully? It;s still pretty noisy up there! All while I very much look forward to tomorrow night, and my date with my hunny! Have I mentioned that he’s the best lately? Cause he is!

A Wedding and a Giveaway!

 

So not to giveaway any of the real wedding pictures until the official “sneak peek”- but thought I’d share this one of my girls all ready to go get ready! I definitely would not have wanted to be in this shot. I never realized how much I appreciate my makeup, until I had to go out without any! Thankfully, it was 8am on a Saturday, and my neighbours weren’t out and about yet.

 

I woke the girls up at 6am, and they for some reason, felt it necessary to wake up the rest of the children. I started curling hair and pinning it up right away. I started to stress out a bit as 7am rolled around, and sent kid after kid to go wake up Scott. Finally, at 7:30am he came downstairs and I was saying, “We have to leave now! I’m going to be late to get my hair and makeup done!” He looks at me, looks at the clock, and says, “Why are we leaving at 7:30???” I look at the clock… “Oops…”  Yeah, we didn’t have to leave until 8:30. Atleast everything was ready to go…

 

I took these pictures of my little brother when he was over the other day. My little brother who HATES to smile for the camera. I think that deep down- he’s a total ham in hiding!I mean, all I had to do is make fun of him a bit, and I got these!

Robbie held onto my camera for parts of the reception while I was sitting at the head table. Here are a few of my favourite snapshots that he captured…

 

Stef making her grand entrance! :)

Ella trying to open Adam’s mouth… or something like that. She was just a tad bit exhausted and yet incredibly hyper at this point.

As you will see in this next series of pictures…

 

Brushing Grandma’s hair…

She can be a little rough sometimes…

Ouch!

Maybe Grandma wasn’t co-operating???

 

No matter what Prayer says…

She did not learn this method of hair-doing from me!

Oh boy… thanks for taking care of my camera for me Rob!

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Lastly, I’ll be hosting two giveaways later this week.

1. For a fall hat

2. For a local photo shoot, just in time for Christmas!

 

Just “like” my BRAND NEW FACEBOOK PAGE for more details in a few days!

I’m Thankful For…

I had each of the kids write out five things that they were thankful for this Thanksgiving. The oldest 5 wrote exactly what you’d expect; my family, my friends, my church, my Bible, my country, my violin teacher… All good things that I’m glad my kids are thankful for.

 

Here’s how Jeddy’s list went:

 

1. My bathroom (Elijah told him a story about how when I was in Jamaica as a kid, and had to go to the bathroom when we were at a family members house out in the country- they took me to a hole in the backyard. If I remember correctly, I held it until we got back to the hotel.)

 

2. My toys (to be expected from a 4 year old)

 

3. My room (You know, where I store all those toys…. on the floor.)

 

4. My church (Though he was excited to visit FaithWay this past Sunday, and be in the “big boy” Sunday school class- he was awfully disappointed that he didn’t get to have a snack like in the nursery! Which leads to the next one…)

 

5. Food & Mom (It did say just “food”- but then like a lightbulb went off- he said, “Oh, and you! I’m thankful for you, Mom!” ha… Don’t bite off the hand that feeds you, right?)

 

Last Saturday, they had a “One Day Wonder” sale at Old Navy- $60 coats for $16! The catch- they would open at 7am, the line up would cross the entire parking lot, and every single coat would be taken by 7:05. Keona and I decided that it was worth it! I woke her up at 6am. We got there at 6:30am, and we were 9th and 10th in line. The first two ladies in line had been there since 5:30am! I’m not THAT crazy… So maybe I am, but just too lazy! Scott was worried about Keona being trampled. I was worried about not being able to get the coats I wanted because I had to watch out for her. Turns out she only got pushed once! We got all 4 coats that we wanted, in the colours and sizes we wanted! Plus, we were the first to checkout! The line was still filing in as we walked past the now empty coat racks to check out…

 

At the $2 tank top event, I made the mistake of looking around after grabbing my tanks. Then I stood in line for half an hour…

Keona in her new coat

 

Just for memory’s sake… Tonight, I decided to practice an up-do on Eve’s hair since I wasn’t sure if it was long enough for what I envisioned. Once I was finished, and taking back out all the bobby pins, I told her that she’d have fun brushing it in the morning cause I had teased it quite a bit. She said, “Oh great! I’ll get you to do it SOFTLY.”

 

Then Prayer chimes in, (picture her combing the air vigorously with each word)

 

“Yeah, not like ‘If you would just. Comb. Your hair. Properly. I wouldn’t. Have. To do this!!!’”

 

And all three of us broke out laughing at her impersonation of me.

 

You know what they say, “Never let your Mom comb your hair when she’s angry!”

 

The funny thing is, I can remember my sister and I making fun of our Mom for the same thing…

Gone

 

A girl walked the forest for a time one warm fall afternoon. She was looking for the perfect fallen leaf. It must be bright red with a hint of orange, without blemish or fold, and equally proportioned on each side. She looked and looked, yet when her back was sore from bending over to pick up the leaves, and her hands were covered in the dry forest earth, she had come away without finding a single perfect leaf. Frustrated she turned herself toward home, still looking along the edge of the forest path as she headed back again the way she had already passed. Her legs now tired from the long hike, she came to the edge of her yard, nearly home. As she walked up the footpath to her front door she noticed it there, right in front of her home, blown from from the old maple tree right there in her yard, swaying in the breeze t'was the perfect leaf. Ideal to all her design of perfection and hers finally. If only she had looked at home before she had spent her time abroad, she would have found it long time ago.

 

Fall is a curious time; this year more then any I suppose. We watch all around us as the glowing bright flowers of summer bend and shrivel at the first frost, and they are gone. We see the squirrels pack for their lives as they hope to survive the coming cold months. Our special focussed time with our children turns back into the mundane week after week routine. Yet we joy in the fall. We rouse at its colour, though the flowers are gone. We breathe a deep breath of fresh air in the cool morning, though the frost steal our warmth. The birds hide in the south from the ice, yet we anxiously await the first thick white snowfall. Fall will soon be gone.

 

 

Things and people come and go. It doesn't take long. Sometimes before hello can even come out of your mouth, it's time for goodbye. We rest in the comfort of the calm sea of today, yet tomorrow's storm may leave us little we can recognize. It does hurt, the sever, as we rebalance at the loss. Is it pain; or shock; or is it just that something is gone?

Does anything ever go alone? Some take our heart, some take our thoughts, some take our future, and some things take our money. Nothing ever leaves alone.

 

Some things will never be gone. Some are just a few days away from being gone forever. "Someday" offers us great hope. Someday sorrow will be a meaningless word. Someday there will be no need of forgiveness, for heartache will be forgotten. Pains will be gone. Though we be forever debtors, debt won't exist to pay. There will be no masters and slaves, all will be servants of the Master server. Cold will be gone. Loneliness will be gone. Death will be a conquered disease, cured and gone.

(Arabella playing dead…)

 

Yet, you will remain. You will never be gone. You were made thus, to exist forever. You have a beginning, but no end. Though, when all is said and done, where will you have gone? There is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God. Live forever there. Yet, there is a place for those who reject His supply of rest and peace. I beg you, forsake Him not. I beg you, make today the day you trust His Son Jesus Christ!

 

My sins are gone. I mean GONE! I mean God said they're gone. That's the power of the cross and blood of Christ. Maybe you have a past you wish was gone, that He can do. Maybe you have hurts you would fade, His love has just that and more to offer. He is the cure to your pain. He is the only consuming fire with the power to make evil of this troubled world gone. Take Him your trouble, leave it, and it will be gone. Cast all your worries on Him, and He will take them away. Burdens are lifted at Calvary! Leave yours to Him today, and it's gone.

So many temporal things woo our eyes. Each would steal but a moment, but soon, and with enough moments, those little thieves will have taken your entire offering and spent it on air. And when your grey head lay down its last time upon your death bed, you will gasp at all that is gone. So much lost for the moment's pleasure gained. So much investment in that which must be left under the sun. Spend life on this world and with this world your life will be gone.

 

Hope is not gone. He ever liveth. Trust well earned, love deposited and time suffered, the Lord God is never gone. His love ever remains for those who will trust in Him. No matter how much your effort to find sufficiency elsewhere, you cannot escape Him, the only fulfillment. As that girl who sought and sought for the perfect leaf, look now to perfection awaiting right at your heart's door. He's been waiting there all along.

 

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. 

– Col 3:1-2

 

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 

– 2 Cor 4:18

 

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:  For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

– Matt 6:19-21

Luke 12:7…

Even in the Valley, God is Good

When Scott posted on Facebook that we had lost our baby, a friend of ours left the simple comment, “Even in the valley, God is good.” It was exactly what I needed to hear. I appreciate all of the condolences and especially prayers- more than you know, but this phrase ran through my mind over and over again for the next couple of days.

A week ago, I had a rough morning with the kids. By 9am, I wanted to go back to bed and call it a day. Instead, I woke Scott up and asked him if I could hide under the covers. He insisted on making me a tea and sending the kids for a recess. I agreed. We sat and chatted for about 15 minutes over our tea and coffee, before he had to head out to work for the day. That 15 minutes of encouragement from my husband, made everything seem alright. I thought about how I should really be taking my complaints and problems to God, and allowing Him to be my strength instead of burdening my husband, who is about to go and work a 16 hour shift, with how the kids made a mess, and won’t do their chores properly, and can’t sit still for school etc. Miniscule things, really…

 

Last Thursday, the receptionist from my doctor’s office called me at 8:30pm. Yep, I said PM. She called so that I could book an appointment to go in and find out my ultrasound results from 6 weeks prior. I set up an appointment for the next morning.

 

Friday morning, I went into see my Dr. and found out that my ultrasound results were fine. Everything looked good. My Dr. decided to do a quick check of everything while I was there and send me for some repeat blood work because my glucose levels had been low. During the check-up, she went to listen for the baby’s heartbeat. She couldn’t find it. She told me not to worry, that I was only 14 weeks, and sometimes they just can’t pick it up. I’ve always been able to hear my babies’ heartbeats at 14 weeks. She sent me for an ultrasound, and I prayed the whole way there.

 

I sat in the waiting room, trying to come up with some sort of reason as to why she couldn’t find the heartbeat. I was called in, and the technician who was happy to tell me that everything was fine at my previous ultrasound, remained silent. When I asked him if there was a heartbeat, I was told that he can’t give me any information and that he would call my Dr. with the results. Still, trying to figure things out- I thought, “Maybe it’s twins, and that’s why he can’t tell me?…” (I had gone through a similar situation before finding out that I was having triplets) I drove back to my Dr.’s office in tears, knowing, but not wanting to believe what was happening.

 

She told me that my baby no longer had a heartbeat. That I just had to believe that this is what God thought was best. That I should be thankful that I already have 7 healthy children. (Well, she said “6” but, anyways…) She then told me that I could go to the hospital, or stay home and wait to miscarry. I chose to go home. After running back and forth all morning, all I wanted to do- was go home.

 

Scott was waiting for me at the door. He hugged me, and I cried. I didn’t know what to say, other than to tell him that there was no heartbeat. I didn’t want to be hugged. I didn’t want to talk. It didn’t feel real.

 

Giving the news to the kids was not nearly as much fun as announcing the pregnancy. I thought to myself, how we should have waited longer to announce it… But really, as of my 12 week check up- everything had been fine and they would have already known anyways.

 

Scott and I spent the night sitting quietly in the living room, avoiding conversations with any one else.

 

Saturday, we both tried to distract ourselves. Still not really wanting to talk to anyone, Scott went out shopping. My mom came over to check on me. I dyed my hair. That night, I went out and did a family photo shoot. It still didn’t feel real. Scott mentioned something about putting the Christmas tree up and I burst into tears. I kept telling the kids that they would be able to feel the baby kick at Christmas time...

 

Sunday, we decided to stay home from church. Random things still made me cry. I said, “This sucks,” about 96 times.  I didn’t want to answer questions yet. I appreciated that everyone was praying for us, but I just needed some time to take everything in. Then the bleeding started. Reality had hit, and I wasn’t upset. I think I was actually relieved that I wouldn’t have to go to the hospital.

 

Monday morning, things had stopped. It was a normal day. Scott went to work, I stayed home with the kids. I didn’t cry at all. I had accepted that this was God’s will, and told Him that I trusted His plan far more than my own.

 

That night, the cramps started. I had googled what to expect, and it was exactly like what I had read. Until it had been 12 hours, and was still getting worse. (kinda like my labours) When I could barely stand on my own, we decided it best that I go get checked out at the hospital. I was given some pain medication and was finally able to sleep. Without going into detail, I had lost too much blood. The doctor’s debated giving me a transfusion. My haemoglobin was half of what it should be, my blood pressure was 80/40 and the doctor kept telling me that my tongue and lips were pale. I ended up having a quick operation, and going home shortly after. Thankfully, I didn’t need a blood transfusion- and though my lips are still pale, I’m feeling much better.

 

The whole time at the hospital, Scott sat there helpless. There was nothing he could do to help me. While I knew that, simply his presence was a comfort to me. I thought about the previous night, how while I couldn’t sleep from the pain, I spent a long time on my knees. How much more should God’s presence comfort me!? And it did. I saw God’s hand in how this played out in so many ways. Had the receptionist not called me at 8:30pm- I wouldn’t have known until after the miscarriage started. I’m so thankful to have found out before it began. I found out on a Friday, when Scott was already off from work for the day. We had the weekend to ‘digest’ things together. I didn’t want to go in for a D&C, and although I ended up needing one- the ultrasound before the operation showed that the baby was already gone. This was a huge mental relief for me.

 

I don’t know why God didn’t allow us to have this baby- but I do know His love and His faithfulness. I have learned to trust Him. He has given us so much- how could I not? So, I’m content with not knowing “why.” I am thankful for my 7 healthy children. I look forward to meeting this baby one day in heaven. And…

 

“Even in the Valley, God is Good”