FEEL LIFE

The cool humid breeze flows through the room as I sip my steaming coffee. Mmmm - Starbucks was on sale this week. I get the good stuff for a while. :) 

To my right, peaking through each of the two windows are a whining cat and a big black dog, begging without begging to come out and pace around the sunroom. Ain't happening. Especially when I woke up a short while ago to barking and meows. I'm still bitter. I'll just look to my left and take another sip of coffee. Mmmm.

It's still quite early. It's still quite quiet. I hear the breeze. I hear the coffee pot through the wall, finishing it's brew. I hear a hummingbird (or "hunny-birdie" as Addy calls them). In the distance I hear no traffic. A few crickets and crows do their morning chatter. Mmmm another sip, and, another breeze. 

There is always a lot to be thankful for. Probably dozens of things every minute if we let ourselves take the credit from ourselves and give it to the One who gave the blessings. 

As I hear the patter of some random rain bounce off the roof and porch, I also hear some water running in the house. I am not alone. Slowly the noise intensifies until I'm sure of it, and a little toddler face is now peaking out through the window smiling at me. One more breeze passes as though it's rushing to rush through before the peace and quiet becomes the morning busy noise. It's ok. It's time. Quickly chug down that coffee and unrecline the chair to prepare for morning cuddles. 

"Look Addy, a hummingbird." 

"A hunny-birdie?!?! Where is it? Oh there it is! Oh! It plied way." 

(I didn't say it but - really - of course it flew away when you come out and thump through the room after slamming the door closed. :)

"Don't worry. He'll be back soon." 

Lily soon follows and rubbing her eyes comes stumbling out. All of the sudden she looks up and says to me, "cuddles?!" 

Um YES! "Of course!" I squish to the side to make room, and the walking hair with feet climbs in and snuggles up to my left side, peaking out the window while she leans in. If it's not the best five minutes of my dad day it's definitely one of the best five minutes. She knows how to cuddle. Jac looks up at me with a fulfilled thankful half smile watching us snuggle. 

Addy on the other hand knows how clip clothes pins on to people while they cuddle. 

"Can I hab Apple juuuuice?" Addy asks. 

Realizing she's hasn't had her morning juicy fix yet, and that we only have second to spare before she has a morning juice curable meltdown, I swing into action mode. 

"Lily, run upstairs and wake up your sisters. I need one." 

By action I mean making other people do action. It's the perfect calling for an over-rested lazy bones snoring at this late hour of the morning. 

Prayer comes down a few minutes later, rubbing her eye, hair still stuck to her face from sleeping. She'll do. 

"Prayer can you get Addy some juice please?" (While I sit here and watch since you don't pay rent yet)  

"But can I just..?" 

"Nope. Get her some juice first." 

"But the dog..."

"Nope. Get her some juice first." I say. 

"But I didn't eat any..." 

"Nope. Get her some juice first." 

Apparently Prayer doesn't realize the gravity of the situation. The child has been awake 20 minutes and hasn't had juice yet. We only have seconds to spare. People's peace and quiet are in jeopardy here. 

A stern look, and a parental silence, and she gets it. On she goes to prepare the miraculous cure for toddler grumping. 

Addy follows Prayer. Lily follows Addy. Mom goes back in in search of her morning tea. 

I just sit here and watch it all happen. All these little lives loving and living for and with each other. And I am so blessed to be in the middle of it all as it happens.

Do you ever stop and think?

I know for a long time I didn't. I used to. And I do now, well, usually.

But in times of my own self-imposed hardness, I stopped paying attention to what was happening around me. I stopped feeling life. I went through the motions. I laughed at funny things, said kind words sometimes, did nice things for people, loved those I'm supposed to love, and enjoyed what good times happened to me. Yet I never really let myself fully feel life, because I was discouraged.

Things happen. Tough things happen. Stupid people happen. People break trust. People take advantage. People lie and sometimes just accidentally don't care and show it. People leave sometimes. People suck sometimes. It's true. But people being people is no excuse for me, or for you, to stop enjoying the joy life pours out all around us each moment of each day.

Feel life. Don't just pass through it. Don't just breath the air, but also enjoy the breeze. Don't just weed the garden, enjoy it. Look at the beauty of the blessing you DO have, not what you did or don't. Feel life where and when you are. 

A wise man once said to me, "Feel life. Pay attention to what's happening around you." 

Personally, when I was bitter and hurt, I didn't want to feel. Feeling the breeze meant facing my pain within. I would rather just ignore the pain caused by the idiots around me. Feeling what was happening around me meant feeling how people meant to hurt me. 

But if I don't face that part of life I don't enjoy, I cannot enjoy the rest in the rest. 

As the cool humid breeze flows through the now once again quiet room, I can't help but be thankful for the noise and the cuddles and even the very very good coffee. 

I think I'll go sing some thankful praises to the Lord for them. It is Sunday morning after all.